For those that don’t know, I’m a pastors’ daughter. Yeah, you can close your mouth now, lol. And it was funny when someone actually walked up to me and said, “Debbie, everything is easy for you, everything just goes smoothly”, and I’m like, if only you knew. Don’t be scared, I won’t bore you with gory details of my life, but I’ll just point out a few things we face as pastors/G.O/ministers children. Today, I’m not blasting PKs, and if you’re one, I bet you’ll relate to at least one of these and if you’re a pastor, that means your kids will be/are PKs too, so you’ll get to know how to prep them for some of these.
- TOO GOOD TO BE BAD/ TOO BAD TO BE GOOD
Come on, we didn’t fall from the sky. We were not born of a virgin; our parents did the same thing yours did to have you. Some people tend to see pastors children like they are some superhuman. We are normal human beings vulnerable to mistakes. Some have been sexually assaulted by insiders, even church members, or have even been exposed to all sorts at young ages, simply because everyone thought they’re too good to be bad, because they can quote a few verses. They will have feelings, urges, temptations, and the fact that it’s preached on the altar doesn’t mean they are compliant. It’s not altar sermons that will raise your children. Some now go to the other extreme and say “All pastors children are bla bla bla”. I’ve heard this too many times to count. I know that some have gone rogue, but instead of criticising, pray for them, cuz being a pastor means he has naturally adopted more children, including you aunty talkative usher. And PS, I know many incredible pastors children.
- THE RELIGION VS SALVATION DILEMMA
I struggled to make a clear difference in my life when I was newly born again, because I was doing all the ‘born again’ stuff already, I can bet I went on a crusade in the womb sef. We were having our compulsory quiet times (Sometimes my sleeping time), singing in children’s choir, almost living in church, even going for evangelism, I remember announcing that I read nine chapters of the bible one day, everyone was so proud, meanwhile it was in the book of Psalms, if you know what I mean, lol. So for me getting saved, there was no major difference in ACTIVITY. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t perfect, far from it, but you know when you hear all the dramatic salvation testimony like I was on the streets selling drugs, killed a man, got arrested, put in jail, and on my execution day, Jesus appeared to me, and I was pardoned miraculously, Halleluyah!!! You go just dey there dey feel your own salvation story no sweet reach. My salvation was very simple and very non dramatic, but I’m eternally grateful for it. I had to search myself, to break through the thin line of the good girl to the God girl. I had to break out of those ‘seemingly’ harmless sins in my life, the ones that are the hardest to overcome because it wasn’t obvious, it’s almost like searching for a dead rat in a room, you can’t see it, but the stench is all over. My walk with God had to translate from activity to relationship. And He’s still helping me.
- PEOPLE JUST WON’T ALLOW YOU GROW UP
“Debby baby, oh is this you, eyaaa, I remember when you were small, I even cleaned your shit and wiped your bum, sai, you are growing o”. And some of them can make these statements in the most inappropriate places ever, like maybe in an occasion where you’re the guest speaker. Some even come on your posts and are like “Chei, see my small Debbie baby o”. It’s like your growth is reducing their own growth, I don’t get it. This is even done to people that are not pastors children, do I have a witness? When they always expect you to act like a small kid around them, and if you don’t they make sure they remind you. Please we grow! Some can even do it when you’re married with children. Aunty, Uncle, we love you, but please celebrate our growth without constantly reminding us of how little we should look in your eyes. Tankiu feli much.
- COMMISSIONER FOR GOSSIP AND OPINION GIVING AFFAIRS
Oooooh yeah! People will so talk ehn, chai. You succeed, they say “what’s she feeling like”, you fail, they turn to Hit fm announcers, “what a disgrace to the body of our Lord and Master Chisos”. I heard all sorts when people realized that studying medicine was no longer in my plans after my graduation from Covenant. Someone actually said “What a waste of brain” Oh my lawd. I tell you sometimes it hurts, but we gotta build a wall in our hearts to negative comments. Many people feel it’s okay to throw opinions everywhere about what pastors children should be doing or not, who you think they should marry, and all those things that don’t add money to your account. If they marry because of you, will you live with them? If they study the course you want, will you write the exam for them or practice that profession on their behalf? They are humans too with their own unique path, not everyone will be preachers on the pulpit, some will be spreading the kingdom through business, science, art, etc, it’s their life! And yes, even if they do what their parents are doing, it is still personal to them, the call of God upon their parents wasn’t a conference call. So even if you studied ‘BSc, Prophecy and Opinion giving’ in Harvard University, please know when to put a bridle on your tongue, or rather, save the tongue for French kissing with your spouse.
That being said, pastors are humans, and so are their children, pray for them, love them, give them the benefit of doubt, and if/when you have a family of your own, make that family your first ministry.
I love my family, and I love you too for reading! 😙
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